Will you blow on my dice?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
