'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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