Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
