He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
