Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
