Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
