Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
