i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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