big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
