I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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