We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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