I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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