went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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