K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
