The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
