? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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