Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
