May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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