just tell him i said nine months
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
