a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
