There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
