I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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