so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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