The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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