if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she told me i tasted like america
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
