The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
