She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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