so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
