Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
