Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
