how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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