My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
