And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
