please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
