Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
