Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
