i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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