I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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