Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
