you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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