I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
