Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
