If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
