I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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