Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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