I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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