if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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