...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
