Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
