Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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