I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
