He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
