Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
